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Thursday, February 17, 2011

valentine.

I've had little interest in writing lately, even though I continue to have much to say.  How can I possibly follow a miracle?  But life continues and here we are eight days after our scare and he is still very much ok and we are still very much thankful and are telling our story to anyone who'll listen, even as it begins to feel less and less like our story, but rather one God is telling in the larger context of what he's doing in our lives.  We rang in Valentine's with bags of treats and pillow pets and a pajama party that I was loathe to put to bed.  And the following days have been rife with physical therapy and doctors appointments just to reassure ourselves that he won't be suffering from back or neck pain thirty years from now.  And each appointment has presented me with the opportunity to cry some fresh tears as I wonder about this love that spared my son from anything more serious than slightly diminished range of motion in one hip and a teeny kink in his L4.  This love that can stop a speeding car, but can just as easily have not and it would still amaze us with it's depth.  This love that sustains me in the night when I've been laying awake thinking about Grant and my mom in law and the millions of things I have to cram into the next day and other things that overwhelm me.  This love that whispers in my ear that, I've got you.  Rest my beloved.  Abba's got you.
I'm trying to listen to that love because Satan spends just as much time whispering his own words into my ears.  Only his is crap.  And I've spent far too much time in my life being hosed by his lies and I'm sick of that.  Because there is a savior who only speaks truth and love and who, for some strange reason, thought I was worth dying for and I don't do him or me any favors when I ignore him and listen to the drivel of the one who seeks to undermine the hard, hard work Jesus has already put into transforming my life.  So I'm asking Jesus to be my Valentine, cheesy as that is.  I'm gonna send him one of those little card thingys with the matching holographic bookmark and a slot for a dumdum sucker.  And it'll make him laugh cause he gets that I'm desperate and snarky and willing to do anything to make it official.  Jesus is my Valentine.
So this is me being real.  Weird.  Relieved.  In love.

3 comments:

  1. i love this. particularly the last part about the valentine for Jesus. i think He is thrilled about it.

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  2. There is nobody, and I mean nobody worth loving more than Jesus. But I do love you way down deep

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  3. Beautiful Meg. I know Jesus will love your valentine just as much as he loves you

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